Women today often feel very confused about the whole dating process (right from before meeting a guy, until they are in a relationship with him) and have many questions about it.
This is quite understandable considering the fact that over the last 50-60 years society has changed an incredible amount, and this has definitely been reflected in the areas of dating and relationships.
For various reasons everyone is now so unsure about what their role entails and the expectations that are placed on them.
Any dating advice for women will therefore need to take these things into account, and this is what I have endeavored to do in covering some major dating issues that women face.
In this dating advice for women, I will focus particularly on the case in which you are after a committed relationship, especially one that leads to marriage.
Here are the issues that we will cover:
1. Should the woman wait to be asked out?
I would argue that yes the woman should wait for a man to ask her out. Asking someone out is a masculine activity and one that should be performed by the man, not the woman.
If you as the woman ask a man out, this takes away his chance of being the man and your opportunity to be the woman. Men are hunters and you have got to let them claim you as their prize.
However if you go after them, they will probably not be as attracted to you as they would have been if they were the initiator of the relationship.
This though does not mean that you have to wait and wait and wait until you eventually get asked out by someone. Quite the contrary actually; it is your responsibility as a woman to encourage men to approach you by indicating your interest to them.
For example, when you catch a man checking you out from a distance, make eye contact with him and smile warmly at him (if you like him). Then it is his job to be the man and approach you. But you can’t just expect to have men approaching you and asking you out on a regular basis without making any effort yourself.
2. Who should pay for the date?
My view is that whoever asked the other person out should pay for the date, but it is polite for the other person to at least offer to contribute something. However, I believe that it is wise not to do anything that is likely to be expensive until two people are officially in a relationship.
For example, a great first date idea is to meet for coffee. That way if the two of you don’t hit it off together, it should not be too much of an issue for the man just to pay for the two coffees, or for you to insist on paying for yours if you want. This is fair on the man, and you as the woman don’t feel any sense of obligation afterwards.
When you get into a relationship though and start doing more expensive things together like going out for meals at nice restaurants, I believe that you should attempt to split the costs in some way. Maybe he pays one time and you pay the next.
3. How to make conversation naturally and get around awkward silences
When dating, conversation can be very hard to make at times and there are often periods of awkward silence – especially when the two of you don’t know each other that well and might both be a bit nervous.
The key to being a good conversationalist is to ask the other person questions about themselves, especially questions about what they like doing and are most passionate about. Alternatively, ask them about travel that they have done, such as what is the most interesting place in the world that they have visited and why.
Hopefully they will then be able to talk for a while and after that reciprocate by asking you a similar question.
Of course though, there will be instances in which there are awkward silences. When this is the case, just relax. If you don’t make it an issue, it is less likely to be an issue.
However, if you do your best to make conversation, but he can’t hold his end up, you just have to accept that he is not the right man for you.
4. How should a woman dress?
As a woman, you should always try to dress in an attractive, feminine way, without making the critical mistake of trying to show off by dressing “sexy”.
If you dress in too sexual a way (ie. leaving very little to the imagination), it is very hard for the man to think of you as anything other than a sexual object.
It is much better to keep breasts and underwear covered up and avoid wearing skirts and dresses that are much shorter than knee-length. This allows him to respect you as a woman and see you as a potential girlfriend and wife.
Don’t go to an incredible amount of effort or expense either. Men usually don’t care about what you are wearing, as long as you have dressed in an attractive, feminine way. Jeans and a t-shirt will usually be okay, providing that they highlight your feminine form – especially your hips, butt and breasts.
5. Should a woman have sex with a man initially?
My view is that she should definitely hold off on the sex – until a man commits fully in the form of marriage. Remember, men are hunters and they like to be challenged on the way to a successful kill. The process is often more important than the goal. If it is too easy for them, they won’t value what they end up achieving.
Of course, if they can get the easy lay they will often take it. But they most likely will then lose interest and want to continue hunting – other women. However, if they have to work very hard, they are more like to treat the woman as a trophy – to be prized.
6. How to know a man’s intentions – is he after a long-term relationship or just sex?
The key here is that you need to look at his behavior – is he displaying relationship-type behavior, or not?
Relationship behavior involves things like wanting to spend time together, introducing you to his friends and family, and talking about where the two of you are going in the future. Guys who just want sex won’t do these types of things.
Also, if you hold off on the sex, guys who are only interested in this will usually get impatient and leave. This is therefore a good way to test a guy’s intentions.
7. What is the best way to communicate that you’re not interested in continuing to see a man?
The best way to communicate to a man that you’re not interested in him after going out on a date is to depersonalize the whole thing.
Instead of saying something like, “You’re a nice guy and everything, but I just don’t think you’re right for me – sorry.”, you could say something along the lines of, “Thanks for taking me out on such a nice date. It has been good to get to know you. However, I just don’t think that we’ve really clicked as a couple, have we?”
In this, you haven’t said or implied that he was inadequate in any way. What you have done instead is said that the two of you aren’t a fit together and that it’s no one’s fault. He gets to save face, while you feel less awkward about saying that you don’t want to go out with him again.
8. How to cope with rejection yourself
You can’t expect though that a guy will handle the situation in the same way if he doesn’t want to see you again, but you are still interested in him. He might be really blunt with you at the end of the date, or just not call you again and hope that you get the message.
At the end of the day, no one likes rejection, but there are good ways to handle it and not so good ways.
When you get rejected, try to remember that this guy’s opinion is just one person’s opinion (based on a very small sample of you as a person). It is not every man’s opinion, so don’t treat him as the representative of the entire male population. We as humans tend to generalize too much.
But if you treat him as one man with one opinion, you should be better able to keep your head up, while maintaining your sense of self-esteem and dignity.
9. How do you gain commitment out of a man you have started dating?
Men commit to women when they see benefits in doing so. They will not commit just because you want them to commit to you.
Therefore to maximize your chances of gaining commitment you need to be the most attractive woman that you can be, in all respects (eg. look your best physically; be feminine, happy, and fun to be around; have high self-esteem and confidence in yourself) so that you stand out from the crowd. He will then realize what a catch you are and try to gain commitment from you, so that no other man can steal you away from him.
But if he doesn’t see you as being that special, he will more likely hedge his bets and string you out a bit. A key thing that you must remember in this regard is that if you have sex with him early on, he is less likely to see you as special and want to hang around for long. Therefore as I suggested above, it is important to delay sex until after you gain full commitment from a man so that he actually desires to enter into this sort of commitment.
I hope this dating advice for women has been of value to you. It should help you to feel more comfortable about the dating process and actually enjoy it.
And to make sure that you end up attracting a great man for a relationship, rather than going out on an endless number of dates that go nowhere, I suggest that you check my book: What Men Want.
This book will teach you all the keys things about attracting men that you must know in order to make yourself so desirable to them, that they quickly want to commit to you.
Go and grab a copy now to give yourself your best chance at dating and relationship success: