How do I attract a guy?
This is the big question that many women agonize over – especially those who would not consider themselves to be physically “hot”.
Somehow other women seem to get all the attention from guys, while they are either left alone or only get approached by men who they are not attracted to.
If this is the sort of situation that you find yourself in, what can you do about it?
Do you need to dye your hair blonde, dress like a hooker, or get breast implants? Or, is there just something wrong with you so that no matter what you do, men just aren’t going to view you as desirable?
The good news is that there isn’t anything wrong with you. At most, you might have to tweak a few things about yourself and how you interact with men to make an impact on them.
There are essentially only two main things that you need to do to attract men:
1. Present Yourself as an Attractive Woman
The way how to attract men is that you first of all need to present yourself as attractive. But as I have pointed out in some of my other articles on this site (such as How to Be Sexy), this does not mean that you have to be physically attractive – although it often doesn’t hurt to be.
Being attractive is more about displaying qualities such as being feminine, confident, happy, fun, independent, and having high self-esteem. These qualities create the interest in a man for you. Make sure that you check off as many of these boxes as you can, so that you are in the game to begin with.
But just being attractive usually isn’t enough to get guys. This is because when a man finds a woman attractive, it does not necessarily mean that he will approach her and ask her out. In fact, probably only a fraction of one percent of the time he will.
The reason is that guys fear that if they act on their feelings for a woman, they are likely to get cruelly rejected in some way, have a complaint of harassment made against them (especially at work) – or maybe that her hulking boyfriend might be nearby and beat him up for talking to her.
Basically, men have insecurities of not being enough, just as women do.
2. Encourage Men to Approach You and Ask You Out
In view of this, men usually need some encouragement to make the approach. If you pretend not to notice him, or fail to give him any signs of interest, then he is likely to think that you are not attracted to him.
And if you don’t respond to any clear signs that he is attracted to you, he will probably move on to some other woman – maybe one of your friends who is with you!
This doesn’t however mean that you need to do all the work. But to use the analogy of a game of tennis, if someone hits the ball to you but you make no effort to return it, they will give up playing with you.
It is the same with men. If they stare at you across the room, you need to at least make eye contact and smile at them if you have some level of interest (very few women do this).
What we are talking about here is flirting 101. When men allow themselves to be caught checking you out, they are basically saying, “I’m interested in you – give me the green light to come over”. Not doing so in such situations will severely limit the amount of opportunities that you have with men.
Furthermore, a similar rule applies when you are talking to a guy who has either approached you or who you have met socially. When a guy is interested in you, it will often be pretty clear that this is the case.
You then need to indicate your interest in him so that he will take the next step and ask you out. When he talks to you, try to seem friendly and interested in him and don’t make him completely responsible for carrying the conversation – you must contribute to the interaction too, otherwise it will die and he will leave.
So ask him questions about himself and make it easy for him to talk to you. Meanwhile, you should be smiling frequently throughout the interaction to help convey your attraction to him on another channel.
Another thing that you can do is make yourself a bit vulnerable by sharing something that you wouldn’t go around telling everyone, such as one of your dreams in life.
Doing these things clearly communicates to a man that you are interested in him and want him to move forward. In such circumstances any decent man will feel empowered to take the next step.
Therefore in summary, the way how to attract men is to be an attractive woman and also encourage them to make a move on you by making a bit of the play yourself.
If you would like to learn a lot more about what you need to do to attract men, I strongly suggest that you check out the book I wrote on this very topic, What Men Want. This is full of great tips and strategies to attract the man of your dreams.