Many women wonder how to keep a guy interested over the long term.
What does it take to keep him happy and want to remain in the relationship, and even upgrade to marriage?
And if you are married to him, how do you keep the spark alive in the relationship so that he would never consider cheating on you or divorcing you?
And to go a step further, instead of maintaining the status quo, what can you do so that his love for you grows over time?
These are difficult questions to answer as every man is different and wants different things from a relationship.
But to give some general pointers on how to keep a guy interested:
1. Keep doing the things that attracted him to you in the first place
If you were a happy, fun and interesting person when you met him, stay that way. Don’t become sad, moody or just plain boring. Men expect that you will continue to be the woman they met and fell in love with, not some completely different person.
2. Don’t get lazy and let yourself slip physically
You have to attract him every day, not just until he makes some commitment such as marriage. It is like false advertising to look a certain way and then stop making the effort once he has made the purchase.
Having said this though, he only expects you to do your best. He doesn’t expect you to still look 23 when you are over 40.
3. Manage your own emotions and take responsibility to be happy
Don’t make him responsible for your happiness, as this is too big a burden for him to carry. And if you need to emotionally vent, do so with one of your girlfriends rather than him. No man wants to be a dumping ground for a woman’s negative emotions, and neither does he want to be made to feel guilty because she’s not happy.
4. Don’t take out your frustrations in life on him
If when you have had a bad day at work you explode with anger at him because of some minor transgression like being five minutes late to pick you up or forgetting to put the top back on the toothpaste, he won’t want to be around you.
5. Make an effort to continually add value to his life and try to build him up as a person
Be his greatest supporter – someone who believes in him even more than he believes in himself. Give him your unconditional backing to pursue his dreams in life. And do what you can in practical ways to help him.
6. Allow him space in the relationship
Don’t try to suffocate him by demanding that he gives up spending time with his friends and on his hobbies, to spend it with you instead. Make sure that you have a part of your life that is separate from him, so that you can have time away from each other. For example, he goes away on a hunting trip, while you have a girls’ weekend.
7. Allow him to give his gifts to you
Don’t try to be too independent. If he insists on paying for everything when you are dating, let him. And when you are married, if he tries to do things like wash your car and take total responsibility for planning vacations, don’t object. Men like to protect and provide for their woman.
8. Make him feel needed
Men love to feel needed. It is an important part of their masculinity.
9. Make him feel appreciated for what he does for you and for just being himself
Appreciation is something that men crave from women. Do not take what he does for you for granted.
However you must be sincere about your appreciation, rather than using it as a technique to manipulate his feelings towards you.
On the other side of the coin, you must not complain or criticize. These things are polar opposites to appreciation and will not be received well by your man.
If you either frequently or constantly complain or criticize, it is very likely that he will check out of the relationship – at least mentally and emotionally (and possibly even physically). He will probably then try to win the appreciation of another woman – maybe someone he works closely with, or sees frequently (eg. a friend).
10. Develop a deep emotional connection with him
A deep emotional connection is something that helps him feel more in love with you over time, rather than less. This a major reason why couples stay together for 50 years or more, until one of them passes away.
The keys to building emotional connection are lots of quality time with each other, and the sharing of many emotionally-charged experiences such great victories and incredible adversity.
11. Make sure that you stay feminine
Never lose that little girl inside of yourself that is fun, free and trusting. Don’t let your career, children or financial issues cause you to become aggressive, competitive and a take-charge person. These are masculine qualities that you should only display as a woman when you absolutely have to. They should never become part of your normal personality.
I hope these suggestions on how to keep a guy interested have been useful to you. And to learn a lot more about attracting men and keeping them interested, you definitely need to check out my book, What Men Want.
In this, I lay out all the fundamentals of satisfying men and keeping them coming back for more and more!