What is the secret formula as to how to make a man fall in love with you?
Well that’s a great question, which I’m now going to answer for you …
As you probably know, there are no foolproof things that I can give you which will work on any and every man, because each man is different and desires different things in a woman.
What I can do however is lay out a broad framework that should give you your best chance on average to attract a man and cause him to have those deep feelings for you that lead him to want to spend the rest of his life with you.
Okay so here is the framework on how to make a guy fall in love with you:
1. He Must Be Attracted to You
The foundation of the framework on how to make a guy fall in love with you is that he must be attracted to you as a woman. If he is not, there is no possibility that he can fall in love with you (romantically).
The things that make him attracted to you include femininity, high self-esteem, confidence, and an attractive physical appearance (this is one preference that varies a lot in different men – but you definitely don’t need to look like a model).
If you want to find out more about these I suggest that you take a look at a few of my other articles that cover this topic in more depth:
But for a far more detailed analysis of these areas, please check out my book, What Men Want: The Essential Guide on How to Attract Men … and Keep Them! This will teach exactly how to make a man highly attracted to you.
2. He Must Love Your Heart, Mind and Personality
While attraction is very important in the process of how to make a man fall in love with you, it isn’t in itself enough. This is because although most men are attracted to a large number of women, they don’t feel anything beyond mere superficial desire for the vast majority of these women.
The key distinction here is that for a man to go past just the simple attraction that he feels for you as a woman, he must come to love the person who you really are: your heart, mind and personality.
Your heart represents the feeling part of you (eg. are you a kind, giving person who puts others first, or are you a self-centered person who is only out for number one?).
Your mind is your intellect and mental processes.
Personality covers things such as whether you are an extrovert or introvert, and also other areas in how you express yourself and in your disposition.
These factors are where most women who go to bars and clubs looking for love err badly.
They go to great effort to make themselves look sexually attractive, especially by spending incredible amounts of money on very revealing clothes and hours in the bathroom beforehand.
But they don’t have much of a chance to show off who they really are on the inside (because of the nature of the bar/club scene eg. loud music, alcohol, dancing etc); and when a guy does talk to them, they often put on the false persona of the wild club girl.
Consequently, the rowdy club guys and the players swoop in on them and end up taking them home. These guys have their night of fun with these women and then don’t want to see them again (or if they do, it is only for ONE thing).
But to get some great tips on how to make a man fall in love with your heart, mind and personality so that you don’t suffer the fate of these women, check out my article How to Be Irresistible to Men.
3. He Needs to Love the Way You Make Him Feel
The final ingredient in how to make a man fall in love with you, is that you need to make him feel great about himself, addicted to these feelings, and create a clear association in his mind linking them to you.
He needs to feel strong, in control, appreciated, approved off, respected, trusted and needed. The essence of these things is that he needs to feel like a man (ie. masculine).
It is absolutely critical to realize that a man desires these things from you as a woman far, far more than physical intimacy or anything else that you could do for him. This is similar to your desire to feel beautiful and desirable to men.
The way that you make a man feel these things is in what you say to him with both your words and in your body language. Your actions (other than words and body language) are also very important.
To give some examples, you affirm him in his masculinity when you tell him what a good job that he did and thank him. You affirm him when you smile and convey open body language to him. And you also affirm him when you follow his lead and don’t attempt to interfere with the things he is doing (which includes not nagging him, not giving him reminders, and not giving him unsolicited help).
On the other hand, you disaffirm him in his masculinity when you criticize him or something that he has done. You disaffirm him when you frown or roll your eyes at him. And you also disaffirm him when you appear reluctant (or even refuse) to follow his lead and attempt to interfere with what he is doing (such as trying to take over).
It is therefore crucial that you send him consistent positive signals, otherwise instead of falling in love with you, he will push away from you to escape the negative feelings about himself that you cause him to feel (incidentally, this is probably the reason why many marriages break up).
In addition to this, the signals must not be mixed – you can’t tell him what a great job that he did with a frown on your face and expect him to feel built up as a man – this would have the opposite effect.
These signals must also be sincere and appropriate to a situation. You shouldn’t try to manipulate him with compliments, as he will eventually detect your insincerity. And you can’t just keep praising him all the time and for every little thing that he does – it would quickly get annoying to him.
An obvious question that might be raised now is: “how should you act when a man displeases you in some way?”
Knowing what to do in this situation is an absolutely vital part of our framework on how to make a guy fall in love with you. For if you get it wrong here, you will negate all your other efforts.
My answer to question is that it all depends on what you focus on. Will you focus on the seven things that he did right, or the three things that he did wrong? It is your choice.
Also, it might help to reverse the roles. How would you feel if on the odd occasions that he didn’t like your look that he told you bluntly that you looked ugly (eg. in that dress), or he just turned away when you tried to kiss him?
It wouldn’t be nice, would it? You would probably withdraw from him to some extent. It is exactly the same with a man, when you do something that questions his masculinity. No one is perfect, so we need to focus on the positive by praising and encouraging it.
If however you do need to raise an issue with him such as when he makes a joke about you that is extremely hurtful, try to do it in a way that is rational and constructive. Focus on the issues and how they can be solved, rather than getting angry and upset with him.
An effective approach which you can use is to say, “When you said _____, I felt ______.”
For example, “When you said that joke about me not being able to fit into my clothes after eating all that dessert, I felt so humiliated in front of my parents.” You can then add, “Could you please not say things like this again?” Quality men are able to handle these sorts of situations and will value your honesty.
I hope that if you’ve read the article to this point you’ve had an “aha” moment or two. For men are not as shallow as you may have originally thought. I can assure you that we are looking for much, much more in a woman than just that ONE THING we’ve always been accused of.