Have you as a woman ever wanted to figure out the truth about men?
You might have heard it said that men are simple creatures, but in your own experience they seem to just keep behaving in ways that you don’t expect.
What really motivates them and why do they do what they do?
In this article on the truth about men, I will disclose some big secrets and let the proverbial cat out of the bag in a few areas.
Be warned though that you may not want to hear some of these things – sometimes ignorance really is bliss.
The truth about men is that they actually are simple creatures. When they do unexpected things, it is often because their motivations are a bit different to yours. The things that are most important to you are not necessarily the most important to them.
In addition to this, men tend to practice a different style of communication to women.
We will go through these points now:
The Motivations of Men are Different to Those of Women
The things that primarily motivate men are money, sex and power (not necessarily in this order). These motivators translate into men pursuing their careers, women and influence in various spheres of life respectively.
At the core of all these things are the needs to survive and replicate. But the survival instinct basically only serves the purpose of giving men enough time to successfully replicate.
Therefore a man’s overriding motivation is the one to mate with healthy and fertile females. The other motivators serve this end.
Women on the other hand are slightly different. Though they too seek to survive and replicate, their way of accomplishing these goals is slightly different.
Instead of trying to get money and power themselves, they are more motivated to seek relationships with those who do have these things. This leads to their overriding motivation which is to partner and mate with a successful, influential and powerful man. And note that I said “man” and not “men”.
Because of a woman’s biology (ie. her limited reproductive resources), there is no point in mating with a lot of men who are not going to stick around and support both her and the children if and when she gets pregnant and has kids. She desires to focus on one man who meets her core criteria.
Her motivation therefore will be to form an exclusive relationship with him so that both her and her children will be taken care of.
Men though are more motivated to have sex with a lot of women, rather than be tied down to one woman; relationships do not motivate them anywhere near as much as a woman (sorry to break the news to you!).
Of course the pressures of modern society and morals often force men into relationships such as marriage. But at his base level, a man would only want to enter a relationship if that was the only way that he could have sex with a healthy and fertile female.
Women instinctively know this at a subconscious level, and this is probably why they are not so attracted to “nice guys” who try to strongly push for relationships with them – they don’t want the guys that other women don’t want.
In the real world, these things help to explain why a man gets a woman’s number and doesn’t call her – he got the phone numbers of a lot of women and only called the ones he liked the most. They explain why he doesn’t remember relationship anniversaries – other things were more important to him (eg. stock prices and football scores). And they also explain why when everything in the relationship seems to be going well (from the woman’s perspective) out of nowhere he may say that it’s over – his urge to be with other women took hold of him and he may have already met someone new.
This may not be what you as a woman want to hear, but I can assure you that it is the truth. There is an important difference though between humans and animals: humans have the ability to override their most base desires, while animals as a general rule do not.
For example, you as a woman can make your man feel such a powerful emotional connection to you that he does want to stay with you for a lifetime, despite the forces at work within his body that are telling him to do otherwise.
Men Practice a Different Style of Communication to Women
A second reason why men behave in unexpected ways is due to a difference in communication styles. Men are actually a lot more direct and straight-up than women. They usually say what they mean and tend to beat around the bush less, while women can be very indirect.
For example, when a woman is cold and wants some heating turned on, she might ask others around her whether they are cold, instead of directly coming out telling them that she is cold and requesting that the room to be warmed up – as a man would do.
One problem in communication arising from this difference in style is that women often try to look for the hidden meaning in what men are saying when there is none. And the hidden meaning that they come up with can be a projection of their own hopes and insecurities.
For example, let’s say that a man tells a woman that he finds her pretty and that he wants to take her out sometime. She may think that he likes her and wants to become her boyfriend, marry her and have kids together. However, the man probably only finds her attractive and nice enough to want to get to know her a bit more – and see how things go.
The opposite problem is that men tend to take women at face value when the women communicate in indirect ways with hidden meanings.
For example, a woman tells her boyfriend not to worry about buying her anything for Valentine’s Day, because it’s just a commercially driven event – another way to get people to spend a lot of extra money and line the pockets of businesses. Then he takes her literally and doesn’t buy her anything, resulting in her becoming extremely upset and disappointed (especially considering that she bought him something nice).
She didn’t REALLY mean not to buy her anything – she was expecting that he still would, despite her best protests. The thing is that in such a case a man has little or no way of knowing what his girlfriend really wants, even if he is aware of this difference in communication styles: should he take what she says literally or not?
Because of these communication issues, if you as a woman want to understand men and relate with them more successfully, you need to understand their language. Take them more at face value and try to communicate your own needs, wants and expectations more clearly to them. I think that you will notice a big difference in your results if you do.
I hope this article has helped to unlock some secrets of the truth about men for you. But to learn a lot more about men, I strongly suggest that you check out dating and relationship expert Kara Oh’s bestselling book Men Made Easy, which I have reviewed here: Men Made Easy Review.
This will unlock the secret code to both understanding and attracting men. Armed with this knowledge, you should have a huge advantage over the vast majority of women out there in gaining the attention of the most desirable men – even if you are not the best looking woman around.
Grab your copy of Men Made Easy right now to ensure your success with men: