For many women, flirting with men is something that does not come naturally to them and can be very scary to even think about doing. For what if you flirt with a guy who is not interested in you, and what if you do something inappropriate that would embarrass you in front of others?
Well, the good news is that in this article on how to flirt with guys I’m going to share with you some easy, low-risk ways to flirt with men which are very effective.
But before this, I am going to talk about why it is necessary that you do actually flirt with the men you are interested in.
Why Flirting is Necessary
Flirting is a very important part of attracting a partner and of initiating a romantic relationship – whatever form that this takes. It conveys availability and interest to a person of the opposite sex.
Flirting is a vital part of forming a relationship because without any of it, you will at best have a plutonic friendship type of relationship in which you get along well with each other, but there are no sparks flying. This is for the simple reason that neither party expressed any romantic interest in the other.
In business relationships you usually don’t want to flirt with members of the opposite sex, because this can be seen as unprofessional and may even result in complaints being made against you.
However, when you find someone you are interested in, both of you must give each other the green light to move forward. Flirting is one way to do this. In fact, it is the best way to do this. But just telling a person directly that you like them using words can kill any attraction that was present.
Because both parties need to indicate interest to the other for a relationship to form, flirting is naturally a two-person game. If one person flirts, but the other doesn’t, the one who flirted will probably stop and assume lack of availability or interest in the other person.
In my experience, most women do very little flirting until a guy has shown all his cards, so to speak. For example, when they see a guy looking at them, they will often pretend not to notice him – even though they may have some level of interest in him.
This is a major problem because almost all guys are very nervous about approaching women and asking them out. And you can’t expect them to do all the work and assume all the risk.
Therefore you as a woman need to know how to flirt with guys and actually put this into practice, otherwise only a small proportion of the men who are interested in you will actually approach you and ask you out.
My guess is that many great relationships don’t end up happening because women are too shy to flirt.
Some Great Ways on How to Flirt with Men
One of the most effective ways to flirt with a guy is by smiling at him, especially in a situation where social conventions do not dictate that you do so.
For example, when you notice a guy checking you out from across a room (which is a very common way that guys flirt with women who they have never met), make eye contact and smile warmly at him – if you like him.
This communicates that you are interested and that if he comes over to talk to you, you are at least going to be friendly (even if the two of you don’t hit it off).
Because you seem low-risk this is likely to encourage him to take the chance on you – if he is genuinely interested.
It can also be very effective to smile at a man with whom you either accidentally or incidentally make eye contact, for example, when you are walking down the street and make eye contact with a guy walking towards you. In this sort of situation, a confident, masculine man who finds you desirable will often make the approach.
Smiling is not as effective though when you are actually conversing with a guy, especially when the two of you started talking for some reason other than romantic interest (eg. a mutual friend introduced the two of you at a party, or you are interacting on a business level).
This is because he might think that you are just a friendly, happy person, rather than someone who is interested in him. It is worthwhile to keep in mind that flirting usually breaks some social conventions and barriers, since you are inviting someone into a type of relationship that is intimate and exclusive.
The good news is that smiling is not the only way to flirt with a guy. There are a number of other ways.
For example, you could banter with him by joking around a bit. Maybe tell him that you think he’s weak and that you could beat him in an arm wrestle; or accuse him of being a sexist pig by taking offence at some completely innocent comment he makes about women – in a not-so-serious/playful way.
Alternatively, you could stroke your hair in a very intentional way when looking at him, either from a distance or when he is talking to you. Here you want to convey the idea that you’re potentially interested in him and open to taking things to the next level (eg. exchanging phone numbers and going out on a date).
Three Important Things about How to Flirt with Men
There are three important things about how to flirt with men that you must keep in mind:
1. You Must Respond to His Flirting
Firstly, if you are interested in a guy who flirts at you, you must respond to his flirting
signals by giving your approval of them (and therefore him!).
This will normally be by flirting back and either starting to engage with him or furthering your engagement in the interaction with him.
However, if you don’t give him clear approval for his flirting (eg. he makes eye contact with you and smiles, but you look away quickly), he will probably stop and it will be game over.
2. After Flirting With a Man, You Must Wait for Him to Respond
On the other side of the coin, the second important thing to keep in mind is that after flirting with a man you must not continue to flirt with him until he responds in kind – by taking it to the next level. You must let him lead the interaction after it has begun (you can start it though, by smiling at him first).
If he doesn’t respond, he is either not interested (or no longer interested), he doesn’t know how to respond, he is afraid that you will reject him if he tries to ramp it up, or the interaction has become too intense for him (he is starting to feel really uncomfortable). In any case, there is no advantage to you in continuing on with unreciprocated flirting towards him.
3. You Must Be Fairly Obvious About Your Flirting
The third thing that you need to know about how to flirt with guys is that you must be fairly obvious about it. Women are frequently very subtle with their flirting and as a result men just aren’t sure whether it is a sign of interest or not; or alternatively they miss the sign altogether.
So the rule is that when you think some sign you’re giving a guy is obvious, you need to dial it up by a factor of at least two.
Okay well, I hope this article on how to flirt with guys has been useful to you. Have a go at practicing the things I’ve suggested and I’m sure that you’ll have some success in attracting men – maybe even the ones you thought were out of your league.
And if you would like some more info on flirting, take a look at some of my other articles which are also relevant to the topic: